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After finally receiving a message that was slightly more engaging than ‘Hey bby grl, wanna cum over? Me: *shakes head vigorously* I mean, I know some people like the quiet type, but even I wouldn’t have given me longer than 20 minutes. If there’s one thing less attractive than a girl with braces, it’s a girl who looks absolutely gutted about having them. All was going well on a romantic rendezvous in a Soho restaurant until I started noticing that my date’s lusty gaze had turned into a slightly awkward squint.

From the inevitable ‘there is an entire burger stuck in your teeth’ moment to the brace fetishists who dig ‘a mouth full of custom engineering’, I’ve learnt a lot of valuable lessons about readapting to the dating game with, let’s say, limited oral capabilities.

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People who choose this path are often extremely driven and deeply in touch with their faith. Example: The Christian rock band Barlow Girl is famous for embracing the “no dating” approach. And when you like somebody, it’s nice to be able to express that feeling with physical affection.

They don’t have a choice but to be driven and faithful, because their whole young life is just them and God. This approach allows you to date, have steady boyfriends/girlfriends, and express your affection for them in sweet but safe (and Christian) ways.