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29 Jan

"I was in a new city, needed a doctor, so filled out my health history, my partners, etc.I've only ever been with my boyfriend and one woman, so it was a big deal when I wrote down that I was bisexual on that form.While you figure out the math, let me be clear that I’ve met several other women in their early- to mid-20s who also prefer to date from a much older pool for various reasons.And while cliché dictates that, sure, men are into it, there’s been some recent research done about younger females often gravitate toward mature men.Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am. I have something to tell you.” When Patrick suddenly sent me this text, I knew it couldn’t be a good thing.

I was a 33-year-old Lutheran deacon-in-training trying to convince myself I didn’t want to have sex with him, even though I did.

He was a divorced, non-smoking Catholic and Spanish-to-French translator in the textbook industry.

Just over six feet tall, his credentials included photographs that were not blurry and taken by someone other than himself.

I was convinced that God was keeping a tally of my sexual indiscretions and punishing me for them.

Though I knew it would be hard, I vowed to live more chastely, determined to curb any libidinous activity until I was at least in a solid relationship with a decent Christian man.