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I swipe, swipe, swipe, match, swipe, swipe, swipe, match, and then, when all the dust settles, I never even send a message. [SHOOTS SELF.] This is a structural problem with Tinder: Because there's no written profile, we're doomed to cover the basics again and again. It's easy to roll our eyes at the stodgier dating sites like Ok Cupid, but they do have one concrete benefit: economies of scale. Sometimes one of the women will take the initiative and message me first. You cover the backstory once, get it out of the way, then you never have to repeat yourself. Sometimes I'll respond and sometimes, well, I won't. I'm not intending to be a tease—I'm not—but it's the equivalent of making heavy eye contact at a bar, approaching the woman, standing next to her..then just awkwardly standing in silence. Yes, it's certainly possible to elevate the banter, but that brings us to the next issue…Men are ready to meet women right away, but most women need some back-and-forth. Somewhere between 10 percent and 95 percent of all men are creepy and should be avoided. A woman once opened with, "Hey Jeff, you look sporty—tell me something clever to say at my Super Bowl party on Sunday please." This was a pretty great opening. I understand the frustration: My behavior makes no sense. This means that the Tinder chitchat is an audition, of sorts, to see if men have wit.

(This last category is the female equivalent of what I'm doing—we should date.) Because No. 3 are a very real possibility, this introduces an element of risk: The whole enterprise could be a waste of time. Let me say at the start, I don't mean to imply that men get to do the choosing.It isn't like a vegetable stand, where a man can say, "I'll take this onion here, not these others," and the onion has nothing to say about it. I knew a guy who got very turned on by a woman's handshake, if it was "as strong as a man's." His friends told him he was in the closet, but he stuck to his guns. Surely the cultured, educated, spiritual (yet masculine) man of your dreams doesn't look only at the outside of a woman.Ironically, both genders are motivated by the same factor—not wasting time—but we do it in reverse. To overgeneralize, women think: So why do I swipe at all? Subconsciously, every time I Swipe Right, I tell myself that soon, eventually, when I get around to it, of course I'll message this woman and see where it goes. (It's easier to buy a pass to the gym than it is to go to the gym.) My intentions are solid. Key clarification: This is not to say that I'm not attracted to most of my Matches. But have you ever seen a guy use Tinder, I mean really use Tinder, when he lets his guard down/is drunk/just broke up with someone?